'Sheila, look at the teeth on THAT...!'

Seriously… take a second to take in how fucking awesome this sword is and the magnitude of pure horse hatred it possesses.

To quote Dennis himself:

Macuahuitl: “hungry wood”, essentially a wooden sword with sharp obsidian blades embedded into its sides. This was the standard armament of the elite cadres. Also known in Spanish by the Taino word “macana“. A blow from such a weapon was reputedly capable of decapitating a horse.

Holy fucking cock brigades! This sword is epic! To continue with this beautiful history lesson:

‘The macuahuitl was sharp enough to decapitate a man. According to an account by Bernal Diaz Del Castello, one of Hernan cortes’s conquistadors, it could even decapitate a horse: Pedro de Moron was a very good horseman, and as he charged with three other horsemen into the ranks of the enemy the Indians seized hold of his lance and he was not able to drag it away, and others gave him cuts with their broadswords, and wounded him badly, and then they slashed at the mare, and cut her head off at the neck so that it hung by the skin, and she fell dead.”

What a sword… what a mother fucking sword! I am currently unaware of any object of malice that possesses such a pure hatred for horses as this ancient Aztec sword does. That makes it THE MOST AMAZING HORSE HATING SWORD EVER CREATED!

Seriously…. if you happen to see one on eBay, you know where to shout….