Hawke’s Bay police are searching for a “sick” gunman who deliberately shot a pet pony in the face over the weekend.

I’m not being fucking funny but if you’re going to shoot at one of the largest headed, unmissably ugly and douchiest creatures on the planet, at least have a bit of a practises first. This is twice now someone has completely missed the fucking target…

Azra, 28, was shot just below her left eye while she was grazing in an orchard paddock in Clive, 10km south of Napier, between midday and 4pm on Saturday, The Hawke’s Bay Today reported.

Seriously, if you’re going to risk a potential prison sentence (and a free t shirt of HorseHaterX) over your hatred of horses, have the decency to put the fucker out of its misery with a nice, clean headshot.

Here… I made you something…

Shooting Practise for Horse Haters

Next time, until you can consistently hit the bullseye from a safe distance, keep fucking practising. You’re ruining the good horse hating name and making us all look like little bitches…

Azra, 28, was shot just below her left eye while she was grazing in an orchard paddock in Clive, 10km south of Napier, between midday and 4pm on Saturday, The Hawke’s Bay Today reported.

Seriously, it gets fucking worse. Not only was it practically a static object, it was a pensioner horse to boot. Not cool dude… not cool….

Owner Trevor Hall said his daughter Samantha, 12, was very upset and almost fainted when she first saw Azra.

“Azra is the apple of my daughter’s eye. She’s an old pony, but she’s loved and adored, and has become literally like one of our kids. I can’t imagine how Samantha must be feeling or how she’s coping,” he said.

Eugh… then we’re reminded of the fucking horse people and their constant comparisons of horses and people. But its not people is it, its just glue in its raw state. Like the cocoa bean before its a bar of awesome chocolate. Bitter, twisted, ugly and the colour of shit.

“It certainly doesn’t look to be an accident. It’s very close range and appears deliberate.”

No fucking shit, Sherlock!

But really? Close range? This guy is the fucking pits. No t shirt for you in prison sir, you can make enough licence plates to buy your fucking own…

Cheers to Matt for hooking me up with the original article.