A man and his horse walk into a bar...

Britain’s beware! There is a random fucking horse nutter on the loose, dragging his shitbag glue factory on legs around shops, pubs and generally fucking with your day.

Anyone who sees this douchebag is advised to IMMEDIATELY PUNCH THE CUNT IN THE FACE then get the guy in a headlock and ring the police…

You have been warned!

Of course I have. I also washed my face with acid and brushed my teeth with shit. I then proceeded to drink a nice cup of gerbil jizz with my breakfast and went to work on my magic carpet…

Hug a fucking horse my arse…

'Who'd do this to our horses?' ... not an obvious answer apparently..

‘SADISTIC vandals are trying to main and even kill horses by poisoning their feed and hurling rocks and pitchforks at them.’

Typical English tabloid headline right there. Force your opinion by using an adjective to describe the protagonist rather than reporting on the actual facts. Your position at the Daily Mail is a stones throw away..

‘Stones are being deliberately put in feed buckets and potentially lethal pile of high protein feed dumped in the paddock of the equestrian centre where the horses are stabled’

Again, so typical of a tabloid to cock tease you with such a shocking and mouthwatering opening line, to then blue balls you with the fucking facts.

Firstly, any animal that dies by eating stones is a fucking retard and deserves to die by failing to be able to shit rocks.

Secondly high protein feed? Really? Forgive my ignorance but the last time I checked a high protein feed would just end up giving you a horse that wanted to change its name to Schwarzenegger and enter Mr Horse Universe. It’s hardly fucking poisoning its feed is it. Maybe someone just wanted to toughen the fucking pussy ass horses up..?

Thirdly the article is titled ‘Who’d do this to our horses?‘. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to think it takes someone who actually knows something about horses to realise that a combination of stones and Weight Gain 4000 is actually going to kill a couple of gluebag fucks. Perhaps start by questioning the emo looking stable kids?

"Horse Thugs" indeed...

“Someone has researched what will harm a horse. Forks and rocks have been discovered thrown into the stables, taps have been turned on all night and fencing on the site has been cut.”

Someone has “researched” that pitchforks and rocks have the ability to kill a horse. They have also “researched” that horses are not immune to drowning in water and that if they have the ability to go outside the perimeter of the confines of the farm that  they might be hit by a fucking Chelsea Tractor? WELL FUCK ME CROOKED BECAUSE WE MIGHT BE DEALING WITH THE STEPHEN HAWKING OF HORSE HATERS HERE, DAVE!

Sorry, I’m being deliberately flippant. I realise they’re referring to the high protein feed but I still think they’re adding 2 and 2 together and getting 5. A real “Horse Thug”, “Horse Sadist” or otherwise would not research the slowest, least agonising and lamest demise for your horses. I mean, really, of all the ways of expressing your hatred of all things equine you think that bulking up a horse-to-death is on the top 100 list?

My moneys on it being an inside job still… you know, someone that at some point in time might have been told “don’t feed your fuckin’ tuna sandwiches to that long faced dickhead… it’ll fuckin’ kill it, you dumb shit! Don’t you know that horses can’t hack more than a few grams of protein a day?!”…

“We have also had things stolen such as yard tools and our neighbours have had a generator and two batteries stolen”

You’ve just solved the case yourself there Jeannette and you can’t even see it. These aren’t horse haters. These are fucking gypos. Who the fuck else would want your neighbours shitty old generator to power their fucking caravan in the middle of buttfuck nowhere? And it’s obvious too why they want to bulk these horses up too: to tow their cunting gypsy wagons around with. Or eat. I hear they love a bit of horse meat.

Either way, this isn’t the work of a horse hater. Trust me, Jeanette… I’d fucking know!

So it would seem there is a war going on that I wasn’t aware of. A war where whiny little emo fucks make terrible, terrible Powerpoint presentations with awesome typos in them to really awful music whilst they cut themselves and masterbate to pictures of Red Rum. They then put them on Youtube so that all the other horse lovers can masterbate to, and join in the comments about how good horse dicks tastes. It makes me sick…

If you have a JewTube account, why not drop by and say a big hello. Be warned though… if you thought some of the comments on here were retarded, just wait until you delve into the pits of YouTube commentors. Here are a select few of my favourites:

Created by Oatmeal

I know, I know…. Bieber isn’t a horse but he _is_ a cunt and a probable horse rapist. Plus The Oatmeal is awesome so the post counts……

…..stop looking at me and take the test already!

Perhaps if enough of you ask nicely, he could make a wicked bad ‘how many horses could you take in a fight’ quiz… aaaaask him! *shakes fist*

Bat Horse? Are you fucking joking...?

Fucking Horse Cosplay. I mean, seriously… who thought it would be a good idea to dress a horse up like Batman? I mean we’re not talking a spare of the moment decision here. We’re talking about hours of measuring, sewing and fitting this fucker in this outfit. They even made it fucking shoes!!

Fucking horse people. They couldn’t leave cosplay to whiny 14 year old emo kids and fat perverts with a lolita complex… they had to put their own douchy spin on it, didn’t they. At least they picked the suitably lame 70s Batman and didn’t go all out to try and pull off a modern version. Christian Bale would’ve been heading down to punch it in its stupid fucking long face for ruining his gig if they had…

You couldn’t make this shit up, could you?! Fucking horse cosplay… *shakes head*…

Just ask... I don't bite!

You know what I hate (other than horses)?

Hotlinkers.

I don’t copyright any of the images on this site, if you want to use them, great. Just don’t fucking steal my bandwidth without giving me a proper backlink and be a cheeky cunt about it.

Hotlinkers will now receive the image to the left if they do without asking me first. Again, thanks for the support if you want to link to the site, just do the right thing, don’t be a wanker (just like a horse) and send me a message first.

Cheers!

The hardest "Spot The Difference" game you'll ever play...

Happy New Year everyone! Usual well wishes to everyone except horses and horse people. I hope you all had a great one!

Sarah Jessica Parker. Sarah Jessica “Horseface” Parker. I’m not a fan of most celebrities but if you also happen to look like a horse, you can already fuck right off…

Really… you have a signature perfume called “Lovely”? Only an arrogant fuck would have the audacity to do that. If horses could release their own Eau de Toilette, other than smelling of shit and flies, it would be called “Lovely” too. It would be their first suggestion to everything related to themselves. Cunts.

In any case, this year we will be “blessed” with a second Sex in the City movie starring old Horseface herself. Does anyone else see the irony of the analogy of a horse, beating a dead horse? Its like a circular reference, or an Ouroboros if you will….

….self perpetuating horse faced bitch….

Thanks to the guys at http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com for the use of their image. I didn’t ask but I’m sure they won’t mind…

The only reason to get this close to a horse would be to whisper its final words in its ear before you shovel the cunt to the face a few times...

Horse People. The bane of any horse haters life (apart from dickhead horses obviously). They are the dipshits that get awesome sites shut down in between sucking off their four legged friends and jamming up country lanes whilst their big, dopey fuckwit takes a massive shit in the middle of the road. They are the cunts that have the audacity to abuse me on my own blog, when their IP matches someone who entered the site looking for “gay man horse sex”…

I found this group on that FaceSpace site called “DELETE THE GROUP I FUCKING HATE HORSES.!” and not being down with the kids enough to be a member of the site, I haven’t been able to join the original group this group is asking to be removed. I mean if I  _was_ on FaceSpace, I’d be the Grand High Master of a group called I Fucking Hate Horses obviously. Unfortunately I don’t even have time to update this site regularly, let alone suggestively lead an army of school kids, sycophants and closet stalkers via said popular social networking site.

Anyway, I digress. Horse People on FaceSpace. Yes…

The group states :

“the group “I FUCKING HATE HORSES!!” is racist, and hateful.”

Now without wanting to sound patronising… NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK! What fucking gave it away, the word HATE in the title. I also love the typical Horse Person classic jew double bluff tactic of throwing down the race card before the reasoning. They go on to explain (which i’m sure you’re already waiting for)…

there are images of horses being tortured, or dead horses.

Great stuff…

not to mention, it says “i hate horses how blacks hate whites.”

This is a quote from the original Horse Hater site. It’s also in no way racist, with it being a simile and all.

For the record though, black people do hate white people quite a lot…

and also, people are making fun of handicaps.

Cut the bullshit and keep to the point. All your reasons for wanting to shut down the horse hating group seem to be unrelated to the actual group, you horse loving shit stain. I’m sure there are a few rogue horse haters that think disabilities are funny but not me. I’m all about the horse hatred…